As women, we define ourselves by our connection to a man. Are we someone’s wife? Lover?

Think about Eat, Pray, Love. The book opens with the main character leaning over the toilet bowl, certain her life is over. Then she travels to Italy where she eats, India where she prays and then, finally, she loves—the most satisfying and fulfilling aspect of her journey.

Look at Blue Jasmine, the movie. The main character discovers her husband is a fraud. She comes undone. She holds onto her role as wife of a wealthy man. She can’t accept her life without her husband.

This is literature, but art imitates life and when it comes to marriage, it’s no exception.

Famous cellist, Wasserstein, stated when she got engaged, now she’d be taken seriously. Yes, even a fabulous career USUALLY isn’t enough.

I remember Dennis Praeger described a conversation he had with three recent college graduates who asked him to guide them about meaningful careers

. He toldsuggested they consider motherhood as their primary goal and select a secondary career which could support that. As an extremely successful chiropractor and Qualified Medical Examiner, I completely agree. It is the role of mother that has given me life-affirming joy and fulfillment. While I’ve been fortunate to have a career which was financially and emotionally rewarding, it was nothing compared to seeing children grown into adulthood and create their own families.

Look at all of the commercials during this holiday season. As women, we are wired to seek the emotional gratification only family can provide. The ideal is the husband, wife and children celebrating around the tree. Even though it’s not reality since over forty percent of marriages end in divorce, the paradigm hasn’t changed. Think about your life as a working woman, a wife, a mother. Where does your soul get fed? And, why is it so much more important during the holidays?